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scottgoldman is contageous
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[10 Oct 2004|03:05am] |
i dont know why i even check this horrible website anymore. i dont know why i even go the distance to put a few words down. but maybe people will read this and say "hey, i wonder what that fag is up to these days". so yo, if youre reading, im livin the life of kurtz here in nola. /new orleans. yeah, if you've never been here, or if you've never dropped acid in your life, you should check it out. the place is chill. tulane is alot of fun. i just finished midterms, with any luck i passed all my tests. damn, i now realize how pointless it is to try to convey how i feel about where i live. people are so amazing, honestly i love california but the south is just so, damn, mellow. balconies. streetcar. willows. rain. music. ill be back thanksgiving.
ps. im a physics and economics double major. im doing reasearch with Prof. Mao on low temperature condensed matter physics -- studies on how the physical properties of single crystal ruthenate superconductors change at like decimal three kelvin. thats like almost absolute zero. pps. i read the economist in my spare time. sometimes i miss the valley and i miss what life was like when i could just kick it with my boys. whatever college is really tyte.
im good.
how are you?
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[19 Aug 2004|01:20am] |
short and sweet. im going off to college tomorrow, and im not sure if i wrapped things up here yet. but the beautiful thing is that i dont really have to, i just submit.
get ahold of me:
Scott Goldman, #1011
Tulane University
31 Mcalister Drive
New Orleans, LA 70118-5645
sgoldman@tulane.edu
Cell phone until November: (818) 605-5869
Cell phone after November, voicemail only until Nov.: (818) 388-6980
and thats that
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[14 Jun 2004|01:41am] |
k so ive been out of school for two weeks now. graduation week is a melted memory, fun but exhaustive. i work now, the new trader joes on mason and devonshire. its tiring. i trained over in fallbrook for the past month. oh yeah, i cut my wrist with a box cutter on accident with twenty minutes left on my first day of trainig and had to go to the ER to get stiches. seven stitches have long since been gone in my wrist and not it is a healing scar. work is tough, lots of lifting, late shifts, stress creeping near. but its summer? anyways when i get time i hang out with friends and whatnot. ive got some summer plans: i had to postpone my planned holiday in spain at the fiesta nevarra in Pamplona where i was to run with the bulls. next year. now its just work, fun, friends, San Fran, Cabo san lucas hopefully with dimitri and scott and whoever else wants to come.... then Tulane. august twenty one is the departure date and the ending of one segment of my life. i need a new cell phone and a laptop. i need to keep better touch with my friends. i need a vespa.
home.socal.rr.com/pgoldman
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[11 Apr 2004|01:06am] |
its never ending.
senior project 2004 will be dyno-mite. im perfectin the beat yall.
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| reality is an astroid |
[28 Mar 2004|07:00pm] |
sometimes i feel like im sitting in a beach chair at the bottom of a crater on mars. most of the time, i could give a shit about whats going on back on earth, but there every once in a while that little feeling in the back of my mind pulls at me, and i wonder what i'm missing.
i was at the socal regional for robotics this weekend. the robot we built, which didnt do so well in sacramento, dominated this time. if it wasnt for a cable that came loose in the last match of the semifinals, we wouldve gone all the way. we were one ball cap away from beating the nubmer one seeded robot, which was really no match for ours. fuck, im such a nerd.
my cousin erin moved out here from ohio and is living with me. shes been trying to find a career job, and then another job until she finds a real job. she's awesome, we've been hanging out nonstop.
in a week or so i should know where im bound. tomorrow tufts acceptances come out. tuesday is berkeley. penn is april 4th.
i have a D in psychology. i take astronomy at pierce on tuesday nights. our teacher is really eccentric, but she likes me. the other week venus and saturn were in full alignment, and she pulled out some telescopes so we could see the planets. you can see saturn's rings. sometimes, i consider where i'm at in life and try to make sense of it. two years ago i thought it all made sense. the parties, the social life, not caring about things but actually caring, which really meant i didnt care that much. things like that are just a white blur. everything in context is so clear, but when you stack up a couple years its becomes liquid. does it even really matter? we dont even matter. the world is nothing compared to a prominence of the sun, compared to intergalactic space. reality is an asteroid.
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| reality is an astroid |
[28 Mar 2004|06:59pm] |
sometimes i feel like im sitting in a beach chair at the bottom of a crater on mars. most of the time, i could give a shit about whats going on back on earth, but there every once in a while that little feeling in the back of my mind pulls at me, and i wonder what i'm missing.
i was at the socal regional for robotics this weekend. the robot we built, which didnt do so well in sacramento, dominated this time. if it wasnt for a cable that came loose in the last match of the semifinals, we wouldve gone all the way. we were one ball cap away from beating the nubmer one seeded robot, which was really no match for ours. fuck, im such a nerd.
my cousin erin moved out here from ohio and is living with me. shes been trying to find a career job, and then another job until she finds a real job. she's awesome, we've been hanging out nonstop.
in a week or so i should know where im bound. tomorrow tufts acceptances come out. tuesday is berkeley. penn is april 4th.
i have a D in psychology. i take astronomy at pierce on tuesday nights. our teacher is really eccentric, but she likes me. the other week venus and saturn were in full alignment, and she pulled out some telescopes so we could see the planets. you can see saturn's rings. sometimes, i consider where i'm at in life and try to make sense of it. two years ago i thought it all made sense. the parties, the social life, not caring about things but actually caring, which really meant i didnt care that much. things like that are just a white blur. everything in context is so clear, but when you stack up a couple years its becomes liquid. does it even really matter? we dont even matter. the world is nothing compared to a prominence of the sun, compared to intergalactic space. reality is an asteroid.
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[14 Feb 2004|06:38pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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deathcab |
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its valintines day and i feel like its just another day. i wonder if when i am in my thirties or my forties ill remember anything about childhood. the world works in cycles, it's all like a retractable lense that gets smaller with passing time, only to open up after a while and close again. some people piss me off, sometimes i feel like i dont fit in, sometimes i question the choices i am making. the only consensus i can come to is that scott goldman is finished with los angeles for a while, and ready to move on to someplace completely foreign. he needs to surround himself with entirely new ideas and learn from entirely new people. still banking on Penn, its a longshot but it might just work out. this entry goes out to the people who care about me, and right back at them i love them all. others are just cold. my lense is closed.
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[19 Sep 2003|02:04pm] |
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mood |
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enlightened |
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music |
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John Mayer - Wheel |
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i guess you can break life down into two things: beginnings and endings. The funny thing about the two is that you never really know which one is which. how do you know if the beginning of one thing isnt just the ending of what you had before, or if the ending of one thing is really a new beginning? i've been thinking about that alot, and i decided on something pretty unique. fuck endings, they suck, so i dont need them. all i need are beginnings, so thats what im keeping. a series of beginnings. i had something really great, and now, its time to begin something new.
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| the payoff |
[01 Sep 2003|10:53pm] |
theres footage of president clinton when he was a boy scout shaking hands with president John F. Kennedy. Kennedy asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, and he said he wanted to be president.
so today vh1 debuted the video for "bigger than my body", and i was almost sure that they were going to edit me out, but to my suprise im way up in it. its so funny. you can see it at www.vh1.com. after the solo, john mayer picks up his mic stand and starts to walk, watch for me then. im in a green shirt, standing right in front of him. then you can see my head for a little bit. its tyte. clinton and kennedy.
i was in carpenteria this weekend with aj, it was alot of fun. i cought a little cold. i love how we have no school tomorrow while the rest of the world does. sick.
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[24 Aug 2003|11:16pm] |
much has happend in the last few days. ill make it short, we got back together and i just hope we can learn from what we both went through and not let it happen again.
played alot of poker this weekend with the homies. won a little here and there, i think i came out up 15 after the weekend was over. i went to the beach yesterday and relaxed with sabrina. ate subway sandwhiches and got alot of time to talk. she came over tonight and we watched s&tc. i saw her smiling when she saw how right i am in most cases, whether its things i called would happen in the show or just life in general. something about when she lies next to me just makes every little pain dissappear.
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[21 Aug 2003|10:08pm] |
tonight i went to dinner for dalits birthday. i woke up from my nap and headed over to the restaurant in a sort of half-daze. i was still kind of out of it while i was there, but perry woke me up with his cunning witticism. it was really awkward because holly and dalit came and as much as i tried to change the subject, they kept giving me the same wrong, horrible, moronic advice that ive been hearing alot latley. its funny how many people just dont understand anything. they come off as so mature until they actually have to say something important, and they just reveal themselves as totally base. i got an email from a really good friend whom i hadn't spoken to in a while. in it was the only real bit of advice that i've actually taken to heart, amidst a barrage of empty condolences from almost everyone else.
"...from what i know, you were never anything less than wonderful to Sabrina, so please don't be anything less to yourself."
thanks sarah. whenever i start to feel like shit, i just read that over and over again and it makes me feel better. the good thing is, i dont feel so bad anymore. except when i get approached about the topic. people just need to let a person heal. I know how i feel, i'm going to live my life the way i want to, so don't try and send me down some assembly line. i just feel really bad that she has to deal with the same crap, and maybe she'll fall in.
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[20 Aug 2003|07:41pm] |
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i got out at 12, picked up some lunch and took it home. i was exhausted from the past week's turmoil so i took a nap. i never take naps, i dont like them. i woke up and i was covered in sweat and i really didnt know where i was. i got out of bed and walked around my house for a while. at 6 i went for a run. my knee's been hurting for a while, so i got a brace and it stopped hurting. running cleared my mind. i thought about stuff, i thought about what i wanted with my life. i concluded that im a good-hearted compassionate person and a trustworthy friend, and that if i continue to be the person i am things will all work out.
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| the facts |
[16 Aug 2003|01:26pm] |
april 5, 2002 to august 16, 2003
16 months, 11 days
and then all of a sudden its over
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[15 Aug 2003|06:46pm] |
i need someone to say
"dont worry scott, she'll call you.
she'll come back to you. she loves you"
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[10 Aug 2003|11:34pm] |
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i took a cold shower and it did nothing for me
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[03 Aug 2003|09:29am] |
lonliness is:
having a really bad summer with awful circumstances and finding yourself sitting at a computer in an empty house with alot of cats and your girlfriend decided to leave you alone twice.
and you sit and wait for a knock at the door while you play pinball.
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[13 Jul 2003|10:33am] |
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how do you deal with a person who never admits they are wrong?
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[29 Jun 2003|06:56pm] |
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i just got back from the fashion district, where i was an extra in the filming of the music video for the new john mayer single, "bigger than my body". i guess some supreme power knew that my summer thus far has really sucked and decided to cut me some slack. I toughed out 3 hours of sitting amidst a bunch of older women and pathetic "the meaning of life is john mayer" guys who were playing all of his songs really badly on an acoustic and singing their hearts out (come on, not when your in the presence of the guy who wrote all those songs). Anyways, i moved towards the front and they picked 25 extras to come to the set and i was one of them, and they lined us up by this fence and there was like 6 people in front of me, a girl in back of me, and a mic stand right next to her. 5 minutes later the man himself walks up to it and we're all talking to him. I was talkin to him about halo and he said that thats all he does is play halo in the bus. I talked to Dela for a little bit and the new guitar player Chad. 40 takes later its all over and i didnt have the heart to ask my idol to sign anything, i don't like patronizing celebrities.
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[28 Jun 2003|03:16pm] |
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i loved the way she said LA |
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alright she's gone, i guess ill have to get over that. what good is summer when theres so much sun and you cant share it with anyone. ive been filling my time slots with friends and work but i just keep missing her.
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